Ask Jenn – February 24, 2020
I masturbate 4 times a day is that bad?
Nope. Masturbation isn’t bad. It’s actually good for you. It can help relieve stress and pain, floods your system with feel good hormones, can help you sleep, can energize you for the day, boosts your mood—just to name a few.
But can you take it too far? Yes, of course. If you’re masturbating so much that you’re blowing off work, school, hobbies, or personal relationships, then you might want to see a counsellor to help with compulsive behavior. If you’re masturbating so much that your genitals are sore or raw as a result, yes, you need to cut it back.
If you’re not doing any of the above, you’re fine, even if it’s 4 times a day. Rub or tug away. But there ARE good masturbation habits that we are never taught. Here’s the basic triad of good masturbation.
1) Stroke—you want to change this up ever 5th session or so. Change the pressure, speed, type of stroke eg. circles, up and down, side to side, lube/no lube, toy/no toy.
2) Position—Change this up too every few sessions. Try a different body position—on your back, side, stomach, sitting or standing.
3) Environment—Add and play with this at will. Turn on music or the TV or some other sound. Add candles or scent. Try the couch, a chair, or shower instead of always being in bed.
Why are these changes important? It forces us to expand our sexual patterns. When we do that, we enhance our ability to experience pleasure in new and different ways. This is a vital skill to take to partnered sex, and the best place to hone that skill is alone. When we’re alone we can be completely free of judgment or shame. it’s just us and our pleasure.
So go forth and masturbate—not to excess!—but make sure to change it up every now and then.
Psssst I am teaching a masturbation class in May. Head over to jwacademy.ca/mclass/ and get on the waitlist. Waitlisters will get first dibs (and discount!) on the 30 spots that will be available.