Review of The SYBIAN

Holy motherfucking christ. Jesus on a popsicle. Unicorns exploding.

There is no other sex toy out there like this.

None.

I hesitate to call it a sex toy. It’s like calling a Maserati merely a car. Not that I’ve even been in a Maserati but I hear it’s good.

The specs:

Imagine an upside-down U-shaped saddle. That’s the basic unit, and it has a pin at the top, which is where you add your attachment of choice. There is a wide variety of attachments, both insertable and non-insertable. The control box is simple. There are two knobs—one to turn up the vibration and one to increase the speed of the rotation. The entire unit must be plugged into power.

There are various additional elements you can purchase for the Sybian—attachments, a nifty box that makes it look like a piece of furniture, floor mat, fluid proof covers.

The experience:

Once you’ve added your attachment, you can either straddle the unit, with all your weight on your shins, on all fours (it comes with a handy stool for your partner to sit on, or, you can use it to rest your arms on), or you can lay on your back and pull the unit into you.

The control box is simple to understand and use and the dial offers the ability to pinpoint your stimulation preference.

I had the opportunity to ride the Sybian at a swingers event. When I mentioned to a random participant that I had a block of time booked, she offered me some advice: don’t straddle it with all your weight on your legs/knees. Get on all fours, take some weight off your legs and let it fuck you. STAY ON after your first orgasm.

Damn good advice.

I got on, fiddled with the controls for a couple seconds, and then let out a “holy fuck.”

There is simply nothing—NOTHING—like the Sybian out there. Vibrators can’t match the experience of a machine. They are fundamentally different, in terms of the power, pressure, and rotation. A vibrator simply can’t deliver that.

Within 30 seconds of getting on the Sybian, I had a deep, screaming, full body orgasm.