OMFG. GET THIS TOY. Lush by Lovense. Sex meets tech, finally! Also this company is very sex-positive. They don’t call anything a couples toy or intimacy aid, rather, they encourage the use of their products for sex work. I LOVE that.

Strap in (or on) cause this is a long ass glowing review.

On my sexual bucket list for ages—get a toy that can be operated by a partner from a distance. So far, the tech hadn’t quite seemed up to the task. But this thing looked awesome, so I ordered it. I was a little skeptical but hopeful.

First, the specs. The insertable portion is sort of bulb shaped, with a bit of a nub that rests against the g-spot. Then, a long, thin wand curves out and up and sits against your clit—this is also where the bluetooth receiver is housed. And, it’s hot pink.

The negatives. Let me be clear—I get the design reasons behind the negatives, and I realize they are probably unavoidable. First—The on/off switch is on the bulb, and here you can also adjust it to a few pre-programmed wave/pulse rhythms. Problem is, it’s once or twice lost connection, which means you have to remove it, reboot it, then reinsert it. Kind of annoying.

Second—the charging port is also on the bulb, so it will get covered with your fluid. It does have a silicon plug over it, but I know there are people out there gonna be squicked by that.

Third—the wand is really flexible, which is a pro or a con, depending on your personal taste. Because it can be operated by app, I want to use it hands free. But the wand is too flexible. To go hands free, I have to put on a pair of panties or shorts so that the wands stays against my clitoris. The pro to this, though, is its extraordinary flexibility means it should work for most bodies.

Fourth—if you give up control to a partner, the interface isn’t quite intuitive. It took my partner a minute to figure out how to call up the controls that would allow remote operation of the toy. Once the plus sign on the chat box was tapped, the controls were visible and we were good to go. But really, the time it took to figure this out wasn’t long at all so it’s a very minor negative.

Fifth—this is designed for discreet public play, so I wish it had a carry bag. With a pocket for all the wet wipes you’ll need after you play with it. Or to carry it and then insert it when you are out. Cause who wants a vibrator in while they are driving or taking the train somewhere? Wait…now I might.

Sixth—I know there are people out there not gonna like needing to input a username and email to operate their sex toy. But it’s sex and tech, soooo. Unavoidable.

Pros—lordy where to start?!

First, I’ve never been a person to fuck around with the wave and pulse patterns and shit. But, alone, hands free with an app in my hands, I did what any sane person would do, and started playing around with every feature I could find. Good LOOOOOOORD. If you tap the loop button, it will automatically record how your finger moves until you remove it from the screen, then repeat that pattern until you tell it otherwise. I didn’t know that not using the pulse patterns on my toys was a major moral failing. This shit is awesome. You can also turn it on to a steady vibration by tapping float, then tapping again at the speed you like.

Second—After being impressed with the above, I tried all the other features. If you hit music, the app will kick to your music library and vibrate along with whatever song you choose. Cool.

Third—you can set it to sound. The only sound in my apartment was my voice, so this resulted in me talking and giggling to myself, and getting a shot of pleasure every time I did so. Bizarre…but fun. I haven’t played with it in public or with a partner in the room, but it could be set to vibrate in response to their voice, or the noise at the restaurant you are at. Damn, you could wear it in church and when it’s quiet, no one would hear because it wouldn’t vibrate! Then, when you sing a hymn, BOOM! God sings to your clit.

Fourth—the power! I was skeptical that the thin wand would deliver enough external stimulation. I was wrong, so so wrong. This is the strongest toy I own. The wand offers stimulation to rival any bullet vibe, oral sex simulator, dildo, or external vibrator I have tried.

Fifth—there is a chat feature. So you can both have your phones out, play with the app, and chat about it, all 100% discreetly. I don’t think there’s a video feature, but hopefully they will get on that soon. Cause I need that.

The outcome? I was a shuddering, gasping mess in the most delightful way after using this. No toy has come close to delivering the intense orgasm I had from Lush. Ever.

I cannot recommend this toy enough. And, they have an indiegogo campaign for more toys that look equally amazing. Definitely worth checking them out. Lovense. Yes.

And really, $100 for a toy that can do all this? It’s a BARGAIN.

If you buy through this link: https://www.lovense.com/r/xf4fmm I get a small percentage of the purchase price.

I cannot recommend this toy enough.